my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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