Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
