So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
