She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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