I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory