I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol