omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize