We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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