it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
