There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
