just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
