So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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