Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You can't just leave with hair like that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
