we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
