I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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