How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
