I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You ruined the universe
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
