It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
