Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
