do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
