I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
