I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
