she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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