Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
