she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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