You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
