butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
