Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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