when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
