Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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