**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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