Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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