I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
