Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
