i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
