So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
