i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
