I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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