The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
