I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
