Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
