you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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