Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
