who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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