Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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