The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
