Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
