I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Randomize