He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is not my ceiling
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
