you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
