yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
