I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
