Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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