I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
