She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
