people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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