so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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