used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
