No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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