she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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