she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
