you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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