i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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