somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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