i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
