Screwed.edu
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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